Complicated Hope

Time is a gift.  Precious.  Irreplaceable.

Overlooked.

You have been with us around 7,000 days.  Not counting the days I carried you in my tummy and in my heart.

There have been so many bumps and yet so many smiles and laughs.  You have constantly amazed me.  From the tiny little baby who could sleep in a baby doll basket to the amazing young lady who received her YWAM acceptance letter,  I have watched you with awe and reverance.

I love that we are friends.

I love that you are so much like your father.  The quiet spirit in the room.  That sparkling smile.  Those twinkling eyes.  Your deep convictions and the thought you put into understanding the world around you.

Many people do not know the struggle you have daily.  I do.  I see the pain.  I see the frustration.  I hear the tears at night and the anger in your voice.   I see the loneliness sometimes when you are missing your friend.  Perhaps only CC understood you better than I.  She was such a precious friend and I’m so sorry you lost her way too soon.  But I believe she’s in Heaven, pointing at you and saying, “Jesus, that’s my friend!  Look at her!  Help her!  Heal her!”

It’s humbling to think that I am the mother you needed.  That God chose me to parent such an amazing child.  And many days I have felt unequal to the task.  Inadequate.  A failure.  Yet, God knew we needed each other.

So off you go.  On a Grand Adventure!  In Missions!  To share the relationship you have with Jesus so that others can find hope in their darkness, in their pain in their desperation.

Happy Birthday!

I can’t wait to see where this next chapter leads you!