Complicated Hope

January 26, 1999

I left Ashley on the bed to jump in the shower.  At 6 months old, she had yet to roll over and so I felt safe in leaving her alone on the bed.

From the shower, I heard her crying.  I wrapped myself in a towel and found her on the floor crying.  Seems she had decided to practice her rolling and turned just enough for the weight of her legs to pull over the side of the bed.

There were no marks on her head and no signs of trauma so the on-call nurse assured me she had probably slid off the bed more than fell and it was fine.  Happens to babies all the time.

Wish it had been that simple.

Within 12 hours, our entire life would flip upside down and never be the same.

As a fifth grader, I was once babysitting and left a little boy on the bed who rolled off.  I was devastated.  I talked to the school counselor who assured me, “these things happens to kids all the time.  He’s okay.”

I’ve wondered if that didn’t prepare to not panic that January afternoon when I found her on the floor?  Maybe.

One thing I have learned – you can’t live in the Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda thoughts.  Only in the promise that God is Faithful.